Poutrance Profonde

Here's where it all begun! Revolution, Evolution, the END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT!
I know i'm the source of change, the alpha and the omega...
Enough of this Guru crap;
To celebrate the birth of this wannabe blog, i'm giving you something i wrote 4 years ago.
Ii haven't reworked it at all and i'm sure it needs a lot of that, but anyway here it is as i wrote it on an afternoon when i had nothing else to do:

The Stupid Prince and The Pretzel

Once upon a time, there were three noble gentlemen, who could not stand being called “Princes”. The First one was in the Oil business and worked for previous kings as an advisor, the second was a former military general who now was an official representative for his country trying to keep peace between his kingdom and the rest of the planet (a hard job you’ll agree), and the third one also worked for the previous kings and also in multinationals’ administration committees.
The King, who wasn’t king anymore (he had been replaced by an awful Democrat filthy and sinful named B.C.), gave the three gentlemen a great task: find an idiot to be named Prince so that he would become King. As the custom requires, the successor to the king is to be chosen by a precise method: put a pretzel under ten mattresses and make the princes sleep all night in that bed, the result being given by a HAL 3000 supercomputer after a whole night of calculations on the distortion of space and time by the snoring of the sleeping prince.
After lots of candidates and lots of pretzel (maybe some pretzel lobbying?!) because most didn’t survive the night, here comes the candidate chosen by our three gentlemen. He calls himself George but our three guys have already decided to call him Georgie (or Gorki) because a strange stupidity emanates from him.
Georgie used to be an unsuccessful baseball team manager, an alcoholic and an idiot… wait! He’s still an idiot! So Georgie goes onto the bed, and not even ten seconds after people left the room, they rush in upon hearing some big coughing. Our Georgie was on the floor, choking, almost blue (my favourite colour) and why? Just by eating the pretzel. The HAL 3000 immediately gave his result: we have a winner! Georgie was named “King of the Free World”, had a lot of fun, was given great advice by his three friends about energy policies, oiling in Alaska, and how to stay on the throne: find a scapegoat for all the suffering of his kingdom, someone who threatens the “Free World” with his weapons of Mass Destruction (take note that he actually has no such thing), his name his the dark lord sauron… sorry, I must confound with another thing I’m writing.
Well, I know some Koreans mad about nukes but the king didn’t seem to notice them. So our Georgie was still king and head of Church and going on his own crusade in the name of his god (Petroleus). The future will tell us if it’s really bad to choose a king by this method (even for a president, it would still be weird), but I can say that it’s not worse than becoming president when you’ve actually lost the election.

PS: Any resemblance with real people and real events shows that you still know how to think. Now, show me how you can act…

okay, it's completely overdated now, but four years ago i thought it was kind of nice...
Be sure i'll try to rewrite it very soon (maybe even today) and i'll post the result if it's worth reading.
Tom out.